Heart pounding, palms sweating, stomach sinking. Maybe it’s a presentation that you have, an upcoming family gathering, or something as simple as making small talk with a stranger. If being a part of such social settings makes you uncomfortable, what you feel is social anxiety.
You’re not alone in this struggle, of course. It’s a mental health problem that many struggle with every single day of their lives. Since the COVID-19 pandemic, the problem has become much worse than you’d think, with an estimated 76.2 million additional cases of anxiety disorders globally. Many have noticed their social confidence takes a massive hit after spending months in isolation and interacting only remotely.
But here’s a silver lining. While social anxiety can make life difficult, it is ultimately a barrier that is easy to overcome. With the right mix of tools and support, you can reclaim your social confidence and feel more comfortable in your own skin. That said, let us dive deeper into what social anxiety is and how you can best manage it.
What exactly is social anxiety?
As described by the NHS, social anxiety is an overwhelming fear of social situations that persists for weeks or months and interferes with your everyday activities. It is a condition that encompasses far more than just shyness or pre-event jitters. Yes, most people tend to feel nervous when faced with an important social situation. But what social anxiety does is create a persistent and intense fear that stops you right in your tracks. If shyness makes you slightly uncomfortable at a party, social anxiety will prevent you from attending it altogether.
Unlike anxiety in general, which can manifest in nearly any type of situation, social anxiety specifically targets our social interactions and the fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated by others. Think of it like this: It’s the difference between worrying about a dance performance and worrying that others will make fun of you during the dance.
What are the different types of social anxiety?
Social anxiety isn’t a singular concept that applies the same way to everyone. People have their own specific triggers, and understanding what your particular triggers are is the first step toward effective treatment.
The triggers themselves can quite literally be anything – job interviews, parties, dating, making phone calls, doing a live performance, eating in restaurants, using public toilets, or simply walking into a room where people are already seated. However, the type of social anxiety that emerges from these triggers is likely to differ from one to the other.
The one that casts the widest net is generalised social anxiety, which causes people to feel anxious in most social situations. For people struggling with this, even routine interactions like ordering coffee or answering the phone can feel overwhelming.
After narrowing the scope down to a few particular situations, we get specific social anxiety. With this, you may feel comfortable in a few activities, like chatting with friends or going outside, but break into a cold sweat in other activities, like speaking publicly or with a stranger.
Lastly, there are situations where you’re being observed or evaluated for something, bringing forth performance anxiety. Such situations usually include public speaking, eating in public, or participating in meetings where all eyes are on you.
What are the symptoms of social anxiety?
The way social anxiety manifests can differ wildly from one person to another, but there are a few common patterns that all of us share. At the onset of anxiety, physical symptoms are often the first to arrive. You might feel your heart racing, your whole body sweating, trembling, or your face may feel flushed. There is a chance you may even feel nauseated, and in the worst cases, your breathing may become shallow and rapid. Some people even experience dizziness or feel like they’re watching themselves from outside their body.
Mentally, social anxiety can exact a heavy emotional toll on anyone, forming a vicious cycle of self-criticism that only furthers our anxieties. For one, a feeling of shame becomes a constant companion no matter what we do. There is a chance you’ll think a lot about past social interactions, unconsciously convincing yourself that you said something wrong or appeared foolish.
Avoidance, too, becomes an everyday thing. Your mind may go blank mid-conversation. You may find yourself skipping social events for no reason. You may start avoiding eye contact, speaking quietly, and positioning yourself near exits. If it’s not avoidance, it is some form of safety behaviour, such as having a friend nearby, over-preparing for conversations, or using alcohol to cope with the situations.
What are the treatment options for social anxiety?
Various studies show that untreated social anxiety can lead to depression, substance abuse, and significant impairment in work and relationships. Thankfully, in our current times, we have a lot of effective treatments to manage social anxiety. The best way to manage your social anxiety is through a qualified psychiatrist in London who can help determine the best approach for your specific situation.
After consulting with a mental health professional of your choice, they may suggest multiple pathways that you can take in your treatment. The most common approach is Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which involves identifying and challenging the negative thought patterns that fuel our anxiety.
With this, you’ll learn to recognise catastrophic thinking and replace such thoughts with a more balanced perspective. CBT plans also often incorporate exposure therapy when working with social anxiety as well. These introduce you back to social situations that you may have feared in a controlled and supportive environment.
If therapy doesn’t work in your case, don’t worry. Your medical practitioner may recommend other alternatives to treat anxiety such as anti-anxiety pills. These medications regulate our brain chemistry, which improves our body’s response to anxiety. It can help you find the emotional stability required to get through situations you find stressful. Medications like benzodiazepines can provide short-term relief for specific situations, however, it is important to note that they’re used sparingly due to dependency risks and may not be the first-line treatment.
But outside of these comparatively traditional treatment methods, you also have meditation and mindfulness at your disposal for managing anxiety at the moment. Learning to observe your thoughts and physical sensations without judgment can work wonders in reducing the intensity of your responses. You can combine this with grounding techniques like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique: identify five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. This can help you bring yourself back to the present moment, leaving your train of anxiety in the dust.
Moving forward
In the end, it is important to remember that recovering from such problems doesn’t entail the same journey for everyone. It’s not a linear path, either, as there will be times when things don’t work out in your favour. But on other days, they surely will. It’s a part of the process, and you need to keep putting in the effort to reach this journey’s end.
To that end, while you try the various treatment methods, consider starting with small, manageable social situations. When you do so, celebrate minor victories like making eye contact during a brief conversation or staying at a gathering for longer than usual. These small steps will build your confidence for bigger challenges. If it ever gets tough, help will always be there, whether in the form of a loved one or a mental health professional – you need only seek it. Remember that seeking help shows strength, not weakness, and you deserve to feel comfortable in social situations and to connect meaningfully with others.