All couples have crises and arguments, but there are signs that may indicate major problems and that the relationship is deteriorating, in which case special attention should be paid to them. Experts talk about which are the most common and explain how couples therapy can channel and strengthen the relationship.
There is no ideal couple relationship, since each loving unit enjoys good times in its own way, but also goes through bad times. However, experts say, what does exist are the signs that something is going wrong and when this can end the relationship if a solution is not found in time. Psychologists and therapists are aware that many of the arguments have to do with the differences between both parties, but they clarify that there are mechanisms to overcome the problems, such as joint efforts, dialogue, effective communication, greater assertiveness and avoiding the search for blame, among others. ART Project, the team specialized in couples therapy in the city of Barcelona, affirms that it is possible to recover a deteriorated relationship, however, in order to do so, the couple must be analyzed at a collective and individual level.
In addition, they stress the importance of analyzing the signs that cause problems in order to be able to go to a partner when necessary, before the relationship has completely deteriorated. They explain which are the most representative (and repeated), such as the feeling that love is disappearing, boredom, the appearance of vicious circles, loss of complicity and frustration at not being able to talk things through.
I feel that love has disappeared: Is it the end of the relationship?
One of the most common feelings when a relationship is deteriorating is that the love has disappeared, and also one of the most complex since it usually involves other associated problems. It is generally perceived as the insecurity about whether the bond is based on love or, on the contrary, the relationship endures by mere comfort and by not getting out of the comfort zone. Therapists are clear that things should not be forced and if a relationship has come to an end, then the ideal is to support each individual separately to successfully overcome the separation. However, if determination and, above all, love persist (even if the latter is hidden), therapy can help it re-emerge as a valuable tool. The approach, ART Project explains, is based on offering the keys to overcome obstacles, but also on providing a space for exploration and addressing emotional difficulties, for mutual and simultaneous growth.
My relationship has become very monotonous and it bores me
Both monotony and lack of enthusiasm for doing things with a partner, therapists explain, are unmistakable signs that something is going wrong. This state occurs when you always do the same things and can happen for various reasons, such as bad habits, lack of motivation, lack of communication or lack of time to spend with your partner. Therapy, in this case, provides a change of perspective in the relationship and for this, they point out from ART Project, some dynamics of mirrors and roles can be carried out that offer new ways of understanding each other, as well as strengthen the emotional connection and revitalize the relationship -creating spaces for the renewal of intimacy, among others-.
We do not stop arguing about almost everything
Arguments are normal in a couple, since it is not always possible to have the same point of view, but vicious circles are the ones that indicate a serious problem, according to experts. Constant conflict and even disrespect completely deteriorate relationships. A qualified professional can address disagreements in a calm manner with effective communication tools, in addition to breaking negative patterns that have become ingrained in the couple’s dynamic. This provides the opportunity for the loving unit to begin a new chapter based, above all, on mutual respect and acceptance, and open communication where they can express themselves without generating arguments.
We have lost the complicity that existed at the beginning
The support between the couple, the fooling around, the games and, in short, the couple’s complicity is one of the most important aspects within a relationship. Couple complicity means empathy, communication and closeness between the couple and, if this fails, the relationship is doomed to failure. The fact that complicity disappears in a couple can be due to several reasons, generally due to dysfunctions in the dynamics of the couple, according to professionals. It is at these moments when the guidance of an expert is of vital importance to find a solution. There are different tools and specific exercises that can be of great help to revitalize the couple’s complicity, thus contributing to reconnecting and strengthening it. Of course, ART Project stresses that it is essential that there is an active participation of both partners so that the process allows the couple to overcome obstacles and preserve the relationship, otherwise the therapy will not work.
I feel a lot of frustration for not being able to talk about things
Lack of communication and especially the fear of getting back into the vicious circles of arguments leads many people to keep quiet and not say what they feel or think. However, these issues that are not directly addressed often surface in the form of resentment that gradually escalates to the point of degrading a relationship altogether. Couples therapy offers the opportunity to re-establish healthy communication and provides a space to express what is normally left unsaid, preventing these tensions from escalating into constant arguments. By participating in this type of therapy, couples can strengthen their understanding of each other and work together to address underlying issues, thus promoting a stronger and more satisfying relationship.