You quit. Finally.
Most people freeze right about now. They stare at their bank accounts, terrified of outliving their savings. They shrink their world down to the local bowls club and the occasional trip to Bunnings.
Don’t do that.
You need to shock your system. You need to remind yourself that you are still alive, not just “retired.” The last time I tried to plan a “sensible” holiday, I ended up in a caravan park next to a family of six who played techno music until 3 AM. I learned my lesson. Go big or stay on the couch.
Here is where you should actually go, depending on how much patience and cartilage you have left.
1. The Gold Coast (If You Want to Feel Alive, or at Least Awake)
People love to hate the Gold Coast. They call it tacky. They say it’s full of influencers and concrete.
They are absolutely right. That is exactly why you go.
Retirement often feels like fading into the background. The Gold Coast does not let you fade. It screams in your face. It is neon lights, overpriced cocktails, and noise. Sometimes, that is exactly what you need to shake off four decades of corporate beige.
Go to Broadbeach. Get a hotel room on a high floor with a view of the ocean that is so bright it hurts your eyes. Eat steaks that cost more than your first car.
And for the love of God, stop worrying about your portfolio imploding while you’re trying to relax. If you really can’t shake the financial anxiety, make it physical. The Coast isn’t just for parties; it’s a surprising hub for hard assets. I’ve seen plenty of smart retirees fly up specifically to buy gold bullion, gold coast traders have on hand. It makes sense. Secure a physical nest egg in the morning so you don’t feel a shred of guilt when you blow a thousand bucks on a seafood tower at night. That is what I call balance.
The Gold Coast is unpretentious in its excess. It hit a record $8.1 billion in visitor spending in 2024 for a reason. People go there to blow money and feel good about it. Join them.
2. Noosa (If You Think You’re Too Good for the Gold Coast)
You want the beach, but you don’t want to see anyone wearing a Bintang singlet? You want Noosa.
Noosa is the Gold Coast’s wealthier, judgmental older sister. It is beautiful. It is manicured. It smells like eucalyptus and money.
The vibe here is “aggressive relaxation.” Everyone looks like they just stepped out of a linen catalogue. The food on Hastings Street is genuinely incredible, and the National Park walk is one of the few places in Australia where you can see a koala without paying admission.
But there is a catch.
Noosa is not a hidden gem. It is fully discovered. If you think you can just roll up and find a nice place to stay, you are delusional. Decent Noosa Accommodation is harder to secure than a winning lottery ticket. You need to book months in advance, or you will end up staying forty minutes away in a motel that hasn’t seen a renovation since the 1990s.
If you can handle the crowds and the price tag, it’s arguably the best beach holiday in the country. Just don’t expect it to be quiet.
3. The Kimberley (If You Hate Crowds and Love Red Dirt)
Do you want to get away from people? Really away?
Go to the Kimberley.
This is not a holiday. This is an expedition. It is hot, dusty, and hostile. It is also the most beautiful place on earth.
I took a cruise from Broome to Darwin a few years ago. It wasn’t cheap, you’re looking at $12,000 per person minimum for anything decent but it changes your brain chemistry. You see rocks that are two billion years old. You see waterfalls that flow horizontally. You see crocodiles that look at you like you are a light snack.
This trip works because it makes you feel small. In the office, you were the boss. You were important. In the Kimberley, you are nothing. The landscape doesn’t care about your superannuation balance. It’s humbling.
If your knees are bad, take the cruise. If your knees are good, rent a 4WD and drive the Gibb River Road. Just bring two spare tires. I’m serious.
4. Tasmania (If You Sweat Easily)
Maybe you spent your career working in a non-air-conditioned warehouse and you never want to feel heat again.
Go to Tasmania. specifically, go in winter.
Embrace the cold. Rent a cabin with a wood fire. Drink Pinot Noir until your teeth turn purple. Tasmania has really changed things up, shedding its old “sleepy island” vibe to quietly become a seriously great spot for foodies.
The oysters are fresh. The air is cleaner than anything you have breathed in decades. It’s slow, but not boring.
The Verdict
Stop overthinking it.
The biggest mistake retirees make is waiting for the “perfect” time to travel. There is no perfect time. Knees give out. Backs seize up. Inflation eats your savings.
If you want loud, go to the Gold Coast. If you want fancy, fight for that Noosa room. If you want to go wild, go North.
Just go. The couch will still be there when you get back.